This child should scrutinize our candidates

A boy approached recently at the McDonald’s’ drink machine.

“I know what you are,” he said, pointing at my tie. “You’re a doctor.”

I smiled.

“No son, I’m not a doctor. I’m a newspaper editor. Do you know what a newspaper editor does?”

“Yes, sir,” he said without hesitation. “You throw newspapers.”

The boy appeared to be suspicious of my misleading attire and disappointed by my overall lack of qualifications.

I feel the same way when I look at some of the people who pass for local political candidates. You can hide only so much behind a suit and tie.

Currently candidates are running or qualifying for local elected office.

Unless “qualified” means the ability to lean back in a chair and say “yea” or “nay,” a few of these candidates stretch the definition.

Some seem more qualified to bungle their families’ finances than to oversee a multimillion-dollar budget.

Some have a proven track record of running a business into the ground.

Others have proven they can’t hold down a steady job.

Wouldn’t it be refreshing to hear an honest campaign slogan? “Elect Big Honest Eddy: The candidate who’s just looking for a steady income.”

Some are qualified nuts. (They don’t know who they are, but we do.)

Some have a less-than-stellar record of paying their taxes. We thank them for their fine example and hope they will consider the burden of paying taxes when they start spending them.

Some of them should be as concerned about doing the right thing as they are about doing the legal thing.

Some of our school board candidates should have to get their qualifying papers approved by their old high school English teacher.

It doesn’t take much to qualify for political office. Just fill out a few papers and fork over a few bucks.

In fact, the act of qualifying is the most initiative some of these clowns have ever shown.

Maybe we should scrap this whole qualifying process.

We could just line up the candidates at McDonald’s. I know a skeptical little boy there who could scrutinize them for us.

Scott Morris is managing editor.